As of 2019, 0.53% of people in the world are bipolar, according to a study from the World Health Organization. I am one of them.
Living with bipolar disorder isn’t easy. Scholarly journals document the symptoms and struggles that come with this disorder, but they’re far from accurate. Common systems include hypomanic and manic episodes, depressive swings, anxiety, psychosis and the rapid cycling of emotions. These symptoms often make it unclear what somebody with bipolar disorder is actually feeling on a day-to-day basis.
Hannah Soukup
Diagnosis and Early Struggles
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II when I was 17 years old. Doctors aren’t typically supposed to diagnose you until you’re 18, but with the persistence of my condition, they had no choice.
It often doesn’t come out of nowhere. Many cases are linked to genetics, according to a study from the National Institute of Mental Health. A close loved one of mine struggles with bipolar I, further proving bipolar disorder is hereditary. I didn’t seem different than other kids until I was about 15. I began engaging in unsafe behaviors and dealt with a severe eating disorder all by the time I was 16.
What scholars seem to forget is that with bipolar disorder comes increased urges of substance abuse, unsafe behaviors, economic struggles and addiction, in any form. Furthermore, students with bipolar disorder are 70% more likely to drop out of college compared to students with no psychiatric problems, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health.
Impact on Relationships and Daily Life
I have firsthand seen rapid changes happen in one’s life due to bipolar disorder. One of my loved ones has gone unmedicated with bipolar disorder for about 10 years now. He has learned to cope with his disorder, but not without prevalent issues. He dealt with extreme alcohol abuse, troubled relationships and more just in his adolescence. Medical journals seem to forget how difficult it is to maintain relationships when you’re bipolar, specifically romantic relationships.
With my own personal relationships, I’ve struggled with maintaining a balance between being codependent on my friends and loved ones or completely going off the grid. There’s a constant voice in my head telling me my friends and/or loved ones are angry at me among other things, which makes it difficult to be stable in relationships.
This wasn’t mentioned in the textbook definition of bipolar disorder, was it?
Finding Balance and Treatment
Although it may sound hopeless, there are ways to live a fulfilling life with bipolar disorder. The most common ways to combat it are medication treatments, often using mood stabilizers or antipsychotics, such as Carbatrol, Lithium and Lamictal, as well as psychotherapy and lifestyle changes, according to MyDepressionTeam.
I went to therapy on and off for about five years. I stopped last year as I felt confident in my ability to cope, and since then, I’ve learned what triggers hyperactivity and irrational thoughts. Therapy has helped me tremendously, and although it’s often looked down upon, once the right therapist is found, it can make a huge difference. If therapy is not for you, or you simply don’t have access to it, there are resources out there to help you get better. For me personally, journaling and animal therapy have been lifesavers, but there are lots of healthy coping mechanisms to try. One is bound to be right for you.
Living with bipolar disorder is not a straight line. Some days I wake up feeling unstoppable, and other days, it feels impossible to get out of bed. What I’ve learned over the years is that neither extreme defines me. They’re both part of who I am, but they don’t control the entirety of my story. Finding balance is an ongoing process, not a destination.
Breaking Stigma and Building Support
I’ve also realized how important community is. When you’re living with a mood disorder, isolation can become your worst enemy. Reaching out to people, even when it feels uncomfortable, is one of the most powerful tools you have. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or an online community, talking to others who understand can make a world of difference.
There’s a lot of stigma that still surrounds bipolar disorder. People often associate it with unpredictability or danger, when it’s just another medical condition that requires care and understanding. The more openly we talk about it, the more we can break those stereotypes. When someone shares their experience, it helps others feel less alone, and that matters more than most people realize.
If you know someone living with bipolar disorder, patience and empathy go a long way. Sometimes, all a person needs is for someone to listen without judgment. You don’t need to have all the answers; just showing up makes a difference.
For more information on mental health resources, visit IDHS: Crisis/Emergency: Mental Health Partners/Providers.
Hannah Soukup is a Graduate of Northern Illinois University. To learn more about her story, Hannah can be contacted at hjsoukup22@gmail.com.
