I was a sophomore at Smoky Hill High School when the Columbine school shooting happened just 20 miles away. I remember the confusion as our school went into lockdown. None of us could have imagined the horror unfolding nearby. For 25 years, I’ve carried the weight of that day, and I’ve long wanted to write about the events that shaped my understanding of bullying and its devastating consequences. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, two boys who had been bullied and ostracized, turned their anguish into something monstrous. Their feelings of anger, rejection, and humiliation were documented in their journals, where they expressed a desire for revenge. On that tragic day in April 1999, their rage exploded into what was then the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history. This begs the question: how are bullies made, and what role does unchecked cruelty play in pushing someone down this path of destruction?
How Bullies Are Made: A Chronological Examination
- In-Utero Influences: The First Struggles Begin
The development of bullying behaviors can sometimes start even before a child is born. Exposure to drugs or alcohol in utero can lead to conditions like fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD), resulting in physical and intellectual challenges that affect a child’s social development. These children often struggle with social cues and emotional regulation, which can isolate them and lead to defensive aggression. Genetic predispositions to mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, can also hinder a child’s ability to manage emotions, potentially contributing to bullying behaviors later in life. - Early Childhood: Trauma and Abuse
Once born, a child’s early environment, particularly within the home, plays a critical role. If a child grows up in a household marked by instability, neglect, or abuse, it can profoundly impact their brain development and emotional regulation. Children who experience physical abuse may learn that aggression is a way to control others, while those exposed to neglect may act out to regain a sense of power. Emotional abuse, including verbal insults, often leaves children feeling inadequate, which can lead to bullying to project insecurities onto others. - School Years: The Emergence of the Bully
As children enter school, any early trauma or developmental challenges begin to manifest. The school environment often becomes the place where bullying behaviors take root. Children who face bullying at home may replicate it at school, seeking dominance to compensate for their own powerlessness. Academic struggles, physical differences, or intellectual delays may further isolate these children, leading them to bully others as a form of self-defense or to gain social standing. - The Perpetuation of the Cycle
As bullying behaviors become ingrained, they often escalate during adolescence, especially if the child lacks positive role models or intervention. Bullies may struggle with empathy, making it harder to understand the harm they cause. Unresolved emotional wounds can fuel ongoing aggression, and without intervention, these individuals may carry bullying behaviors into adulthood, where they manifest as workplace bullying or domestic violence. - The Adult Consequences: From Bully to Perpetrator
Unresolved bullying behaviors can lead to serious consequences in adulthood, with bullies at greater risk for delinquent behavior, violence, and criminal activity. The cycle of aggression continues unless addressed early, often leading to devastating outcomes for both the bully and society. - Empathy for the Bully: A Difficult Reality
It’s important to recognize that bullies often carry their own burdens, shaped by unresolved trauma. As we look at the factors leading to bullying, it becomes clear that many bullies are deeply wounded individuals. This doesn’t excuse their actions, but helps us understand the roots of their aggression. Since Columbine, countless school shootings have occurred, many sharing a common thread: perpetrators shaped by trauma, alienation, and untreated mental health issues. Like Harris and Klebold, these individuals weren’t born violent—they became violent as their pain went unchecked. Their actions remind us of the catastrophic consequences of unresolved trauma.
Breaking the Cycle: Early Intervention as Prevention
Recognizing the roots of bullying allows us to see the importance of early intervention. Bullying behaviors can be interrupted with proper support, counseling, and programs that teach empathy and emotional regulation. Early identification of at-risk children, coupled with behavioral therapies, can significantly reduce the chances of bullying behaviors evolving into criminal activity. Addressing trauma early helps break the cycle, protecting future generations from the consequences of unchecked aggression.
Can Hazing Temporarily Warp Someone’s Moral Compass?
An important question is whether hazing/bullying can temporarily distort someone’s moral compass or if certain people are more inclined to participate due to underlying traits or past experiences. The answer likely lies in a combination of situational and individual factors.
The Power of Group Dynamics: Warping Morality
Hazing often thrives in group cultures, especially in fraternities, sports teams, or the military, where loyalty and cohesion are highly valued. In these environments, the pressure to conform and prove oneself can lead individuals to engage in behaviors they might otherwise find morally unacceptable. Studies on group dynamics have shown that people can experience “moral disengagement,” where they rationalize harmful behavior by distancing themselves from its consequences or dehumanizing the victims.
This psychological phenomenon explains how well-meaning individuals, who wouldn’t typically harm others, can become complicit in hazing rituals. The desire to belong and be accepted by the group can overpower ethical judgment, leading to actions they might later regret. In these cases, hazing warps their moral compass temporarily, allowing them to justify actions they would ordinarily see as wrong.
Stanley Milgram’s obedience experiments and Philip Zimbardo’s Stanford prison experiments both illustrate how ordinary people can be influenced by authority and group pressure to engage in harmful behaviors. These studies demonstrate how situational factors—such as being part of a close-knit group with strong expectations for conformity—can override individual moral judgments.
Are Some People More Prone to Perpetrate?
While group pressure plays a significant role, some individuals may be more inclined to perpetrate hazing due to personal traits or past experiences. Those with a history of bullying aggression or who have been hazed themselves are more likely to become perpetrators. Childhood trauma, such as physical or emotional abuse, can also reduce a person’s capacity for empathy or lead them to view violence as a legitimate means of establishing dominance.
Certain personality traits—such as high levels of narcissism, low empathy, or a strong need for control—can make someone more likely to engage in hazing. Individuals who lack a strong moral foundation or have difficulty regulating their emotions may also be more susceptible to the moral disengagement that occurs in group settings. While hazing culture can foster abusive behavior, some individuals may be predisposed to becoming perpetrators, regardless of the environment.
The Intersection of Personality and Situation
Ultimately, it is the combination of individual predispositions and situational pressures that creates the perfect storm for moral erosion. Those already vulnerable to aggressive or domineering behaviors may thrive in hazing environments, while others, though morally grounded, might compromise their values to fit in or prove their loyalty.
In the end, it’s important to recognize that bullies often carry their own burdens, shaped by unresolved trauma and difficult experiences. As we examine the factors that lead to bullying, it becomes clear that the bully is often a product of adversity—whether stemming from prenatal influences, childhood trauma, or other psychological and environmental factors. While this doesn’t excuse their behavior, it encourages us to see that many bullies are deeply wounded individuals.
Since Columbine, countless shootings have followed, as if that tragic day opened the floodgates for school violence. Despite the lessons we hoped to learn, these tragedies continue. Like Columbine, many of these incidents share common threads: perpetrators shaped by trauma, social isolation, and untreated mental health issues. As we reflect on what drove Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, we must confront a deeper truth: bullies are often shaped by internalized pain.
While nothing excuses the actions of Harris and Klebold, it forces us to face an uncomfortable reality: many bullies are deeply hurt individuals. Harris, for example, had a chest deformity known as pectus excavatum, which made him self-conscious and a target for ridicule in gym class. He underwent surgeries at ages 12 and 13 to correct the condition. The actions of these young men and others who have followed in their tragic footsteps remind us that unresolved trauma can have devastating consequences for both individuals and society. Understanding the roots of bullying and addressing it early may be key to preventing future tragedies, even amid ongoing violence.
In Memory
This article is dedicated to the memory of the students and teachers who lost their lives in the Columbine High School tragedy on April 20, 1999. Today, those students would be the same age as me, but their futures were tragically cut short. Their families and friends continue to cope with their profound loss. Their memories serve as a reminder of the urgent need to address bullying and mental health in our schools and communities and to create a safer, more empathetic world. Let’s teach our children to be kind to everyone, sit with the kids who have nobody to sit with at lunch, and speak up when someone is being singled out in the locker room.
Vishwani’s opinions are her own and are for informational purposes only. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, or provide medical advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare professional for personalized medical care.
Vishwani Sahai-Siddiqui is a residency- and fellowship-trained psychiatrist, now a medical writer and editor, and the owner of The Cognitive Quill. For more information, please visit cognitivequill.com or email vishwanipsychmd@gmail.com.
Articles in This Series
- The Long-Term Psychological Effects of Hazing and How We Can Prevent Them
- The Mental Health Impact of Hazing on Bystanders
- Under the Influence – How Hazing Drives Substance Use Among Students
- What Makes a Bully? Can Hazing Culture Temporarily Warp Someone’s Moral Compass?
Citations and References:
- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders and Bullying
Mattson, S. N., Crocker, N., & Nguyen, T. T. (2011). Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders: Neuropsychological and behavioral features. Neuropsychology Review, 21(2), 81–101. - Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Aggression
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenberg, D., et al. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), 245–258. - Mental Illness and Genetic Predispositions
Thapar, A., Collishaw, S., Pine, D. S., & Thapar, A. K. (2012). Depression in adolescence. The Lancet, 379(9820), 1056–1067. - Bullying as a Learned Behavior from Sibling Dynamics
Wolke, D., Tippett, N., & Dantchev, S. (2015). Bullying in the family: Sibling bullying. The Lancet Psychiatry, 2(10), 917–929.- Examines how bullying among siblings can contribute to bullying behaviors outside the home.
- Trauma and Aggression in School-Age Children
Dodge, K. A., & Pettit, G. S. (2003). A biopsychosocial model of the development of chronic conduct problems in adolescence. Developmental Psychology, 39(2), 349–371. - Long-term Outcomes for Bullies
Farrington, D. P., & Ttofi, M. M. (2011). Bullying as a predictor of offending, violence, and later life outcomes. Criminal Behavior and Mental Health, 21(2), 90–98. - Bullying, Hazing, and Group Dynamics
Campo, S., Poulos, G., & Sipple, J. W. (2005). Prevalence and profiling: Hazing among college students and points of intervention. American Journal of Health Behavior, 29(2), 137–149. - Criminal Behavior and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Glenn, A. L., & Raine, A. (2014). Antisocial personality disorder: A current review. Current Psychiatry Reports, 16(6), 466. - Interventions to Stop Bullying and Aggression
Ttofi, M. M., & Farrington, D. P. (2009). What works in preventing bullying: Effective elements of anti-bullying programs. Journal of Aggression, Conflict and Peace Research, 1(1), 13–24. - Moral Disengagement in Group Settings
Bandura, A. (1999). Moral disengagement in the perpetration of inhumanities. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 3(3), 193–209. - Group Pressure and Moral Behavior
Milgram, S. (1963). Behavioral study of obedience. The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 67(4), 371–378. - Personality Traits and Hazing Perpetration
Rigby, K. (2004). Addressing bullying in schools: Theoretical perspectives and their implications. School Psychology International, 25(3), 287–300. - Moral Compass in Group Dynamics
Zimbardo, P. G. (2007). The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil. New York: Random House.
